The Quality of Love and Respect in a Mother

Book of Ruth (1)

May 2, 2007

Mother's day is coming up soon on May 13 this year. Many of you are thinking about what to give to your mothers. Some of you will be taking your mothers out to lunch or dinner in a fancy restaurant. Some perhaps will give flowers, cards, money, and a little bit of your time to your mothers. Some will take this time to call your mothers back in China and tell them how much you love and miss them. Regardless of your modes of giving, you need to show your mothers how much you love them and appreciate them. Shame on you if you cannot, or refuse for some reasons to shower your mothers with love and appreciation. This little attention is at a small cost to you and it only requires of you to do this once a year.

I also have a gift for all mothers. I will tell you a story about a famous woman who is not only a fine mother but also a wise mother-in-law. After you read this story, please evaluate yourself and see if you also possess these fine qualities of love and respect required of a mother and more for a mother-in-law.

When someone says, "Let me tell you about my mother-in-law" you expect some kind of derogative statement. Mother-in-law jokes are very prominent in the American social arena and many find these jokes quite entertaining despite its negativity or ridiculous anecdotes. Nevertheless, being a mother-in-law is not an easy task. You have to acquire double the patience, love, and wisdom of a mother to become a successful mother-in-law.

Naomi had two sons and she loved her two sons. The book of Ruth from the Bible hinted that Naomi's sons for some health reason died young and left her with two daughters-in-law. One is Orpah and the other Ruth. She implored both to return to their mothers' homes in Moab before she herself returns to her homeland in Israel.

Orpah after giving her mother-in-law a farewell kiss left Naomi and returned to her homeland. Ruth, on the other hand, refused to leave Naomi. She clung tightly to Naomi and said, "Don't ask me to leave you and turn back. I will go wherever you go and live wherever you live. Your people will be my people, and your God will be my God. I will die where you die and will be buried there. May the Lord punish me severely if I allow anything but death to separate us!" This has become a famous passage for testimonials for weddings. However, I will expound further on this in my next article on Ruth.

Naomi stopped urging Ruth to return to her mother's homeland after this loving plea from Ruth. She took Ruth and both returned to Israel. While there, they became poor widows who experienced hardships together. They depended on each other for food, shared sorrows, and strength to live day by day. Naomi was an example of faith to Ruth. Through Naomi's faith, Ruth came to know God. Naomi cried out to God for all her sorrows and bitterness. Through her pains and daily pleas to God, Ruth saw the dependency and vulnerability her mother-in-law had with God. Ruth learned who was really in control. God was in control of their situations and only God can take them out of poverty and lowliness as homeless widows. Ruth watched her mother-in-law closely. She listened, and obeyed her mother-in-law to her every word. When Naomi told her to wash, bathe, dress in her best with perfume, she obeyed. She then followed Naomi's instruction and went to the threshing floor and lie closely by Boaz's feet. Boaz was the rich landowner whose land Ruth gleaned the wheat to help supply food for Naomi and herself in time of famine. By uncovering Boaz's feet and lying next to him was an act according to Israelite custom and law. By this very act, Ruth not only obeyed her wise mother-in-law, she also showed her willingness to be protected by Boaz her kinsman redeemer. I will share the rest of this love story in the next article.

Naomi loved and cared for Ruth. She displayed her sincerity to Ruth more than any mother could. These are some of her fine quality of love and respect:

1. Naomi was selfless in her attitudes toward Ruth. Even though she was a poor widow, she did not think of her own future but rather the future standing of her daughter-in-law. She did not treat her daughter-in-law as an outsider. She treated Ruth as her own flesh and blood. She did not take advantage of Ruth, but rather used love and patience to teach Ruth the proper ways to live according to the custom and laws of Israel.

2. Naomi was a model of faith for Ruth. Even though Ruth did not know or understand God, Naomi showed through her pains and sorrows that God is the one who is in control of their situations. She believed God is the one who will take them out of their poverty and give them future hope. Naomi allowed Ruth to see, hear, and feel all the joy and anguish of her relationship to God. Ruth observed Naomi closely and followed Naomi's faith and trust in God.

3. Naomi was wise in seeing God's providence in leading them to a kinsman redeemer in Boaz. She saw the opportunity and did not waste any time in getting Ruth prepared for receiving her future blessings.

4. Naomi was a woman of big heart. Ruth's happiness was her own happiness. She was never jealous or in competition with Ruth. When Ruth gave birth to a son through Boaz, Naomi nursed the child as if the child was her own. In another word, she was not only a fine mother-in-law, but a great committed grandmother as well.

If you are a mother-in-law and are having problems with your daughter-in-law right now, take a self-evaluation right now and learn from Naomi. Are you selfless in your attitudes, a model of faith, a wise woman who use every opportunity to build the right relationship, and who has a big heart full of love and not in competition with your daughter-in-law? The secret of being a successful mother-in-law is to love your daughter-in-law more than your own son and yourself.

May you and your family have joy and peace coming out from your excellent quality of love and respect in being an exemplary mother. Happy Mothers' Day!