My Husband, My Partner, My Best Friend

Part 7

Faithfulness in a Marriage

The most important thing in life is to love someone. The second most important thing in life is to have someone love you. The third most important thing is to have these two happen at the same time. In a marriage, love is represented by the wedding rings. If you don't have a wedding ring, make that a priority for your next gift-giving present. A wedding ring is made of precious gold which does not tarnish with age. It represents the stability that comes in the form of faithfulness. This ring is also rounded or a complete circle, without a beginning or end. It is also symbolic of the endlessness of your love for your spouse. This endless love also comes in the form of faithfulness.

What is faithfulness in your marriage? It is a loving, devoted, affectionate, reliable, dependable intimate relationship only with your spouse. The intimacy is the emotional bond you share with your mate. The feeling of deep connection, it is a "oneness" or "one flesh" that is often spoken of between a husband and wife relationship.

If you find you are emotionally intimate with a friend of the opposite sex more than you are with your spouse, you are heading for trouble in your marriage. Infidelity is one of the most damaging causes for a broken marriage. It is easy to crossover from emotional intimacy to physical intimacy. If you find yourself confiding more of your feelings of needs and fears, and looking forward to sympathy from your friend of the opposite sex, be careful. The next obvious step is to have further bond with this person for more intimate connection which is sexual sharing.

If you find you are hiding some emotional intimacy from your spouse, you need to wake up and honestly evaluate what's happening to the faithfulness of your marriage. You need to build more the "oneness" in your marriage and communicate your heartfelt needs with your spouse. You also need to build friends based not on your own "friendship pools" but build "friends of the marriage pools." Guard your intimacy of your marriage. Only share your fears and needs with your spouse. If you have problem communicating, seek for counseling help or support group from your church and community.

I married my best friend. I can share all my needs and fears with him. There are times when our marriage was tested and tried. We were careful to guard our intimacy. We made a point never to share our emotional intimacy with our friends of the opposite sex. We also build our friends from a common "friends of the marriage pools." That means my friends are his friends and vice versa. We make every effort to protect the intimacy of our marriage. We share everything with each other. We take time each day just to talk and share the negatives and the positives of the day. Over the years, I have also become his best friend.

The marriage vow has this part about faithfulness in a marriage: "....do you promise before God and these witnesses, to love, to comfort, honor, and keep her (him) in sickness and in health; and, forsaking all others, keep only her (him) so long as you both will live?...."

Friends, I beseech you, to cherish your marriage. No matter how difficult your situation is, intentionally work toward the faithfulness of your marriage. Faithfulness comes by love and loyalty to your partner for life. The marriage vow tells me I am my husband's mate for life. Even though he is sick now, I still love him and treat him well just as when he was healthy and strong. He is forever my best friend!

Any inquiry:

Panedu@bellsouth.net